"I know all those words, just that sentence makes no sense to me." ― Matt Groening
"I accept never fabricated just one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted information technology."
(Letter of the alphabet to Étienne Noël Damilaville, May sixteen, 1767)" ― Voltaire
"Invisible things are the merely realities." ― Edgar Allan Poe, Loss of Breath
"He had the expect of ane who had drunk the cup of life and constitute a expressionless beetle at the bottom." ― P.G. Wodehouse
"When asked, "Why do you lot always habiliment black?", he said, "I am mourning for my life." ― Anton Chekhov
"This work was strictly voluntary, simply any fauna who absented himself from it would accept his rations reduced by half." ― George Orwell, Animal Farm
"Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, afterward putting in a heavy day's piece of work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the babe into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to observe the vodka bottle empty." ― P.G. Wodehouse , The Best of Wodehouse: An Album
"Most men are not wicked... They are sleep-walkers, not evil evildoers." ― Franz Kafka
"If this is the best of possible worlds, what then are the others?" ― Voltaire, Candide
"Which of u.s.a. is happy in this world? Which of us has his want? or, having it, is satisfied?" ― William Makepeace Thackeray, Vanity Off-white
"Actors are and then fortunate. They tin cull whether they will appear in tragedy or in one-act, whether they will suffer or make merry, laugh or shed tears. But in real life it is dissimilar. Nearly men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualifications. Our Guildensterns play Hamlet for the states, and our Hamlets have to jest like Prince Hal. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast." ― Oscar Wilde, Lord Arthur Savile'southward Criminal offense and Other Stories
"A begetter has to exist a provider, a instructor, a role model, but most importantly, a afar authorisation figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children always understand the concept of God?" ― Stephen Colbert, I Am America
"Is my paranoia getting completely out of hand, or are you mongoloids actually talking about me?" ― John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces
"Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orangish tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the boilerplate person would rather be someone they are not." ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
"Hither's an easy way to effigy out if you lot're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is aye." ― Stephen Colbert, I Am America
"Dearest creature in cosmos, Study English pronunciation. I will teach y'all in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, equus caballus, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Brand your caput with oestrus grow dizzy. Tear in centre, your dress volition tear. And then shall I! Oh hear my prayer. But compare heart, bristles, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and U.k.. (Listen the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely volition non plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be conscientious how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Girl, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, High german, wind and listen, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Barracks does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Claret and flood are not like nutrient, Nor is mould like should and would. Sticky, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to advantage. And your pronunciation'southward OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and alive. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, rummage, Doll and curlicue and some and home. Stranger does non rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt simply aunt, Font, forepart, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now beginning say finger, And and then vocaliser, ginger, linger, Existent, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and guess, Matrimony, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bust, transom, adjuration. Though the differences seem little, We say bodily but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Ho-hum, bull, and George ate belatedly. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, censor, scientific. Liberty, library, boost and heaven, Rachel, anguish, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, just immune, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Beaker, just constabulary and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Expect, surprise, plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, just our and succour, iv. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Ocean, idea, Korea, expanse, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, s, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Heart, I, ay, aye, whey, and central. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, simply preface, non efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, donkey, glass, bass. Large, only target, gin, requite, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, just earn and wearable and tear Exercise not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is fifty-fifty, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with plenty, Though, through, turn, or dough, or coughing? Hiccough has the audio of cup. My communication is to give up!!!" ― Gerard Nolst Trenité, Driblet your Strange Accent
"-Oh yes? Tin can you place yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere." ― Terry Pratchett, Maskerade
"The end of the human race volition be that it will somewhen dice of civilization." ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Only we were dragons. Nosotros were supposed to be roughshod, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, we never burned and tortured and ripped 1 another autonomously and called information technology morality." ― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
"In that location were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existance of a majestic family, by the volume of traffic that passed by their house, by the malice of trade unions, by the power of callous employers, by the refusal of the health service to take their condition seriously, by communism, past capitalism, by atheism, by anything, in fact, but their own futile, weak-minded failure to get a fucking grip." ― Stephen Fry, Revenge
"My pen shall heal, not injure." ― 50.M. Montgomery, Emily Climbs
"[On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think akin, now they have to make them look alike too? Information technology'south non a new thought, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was difficult to understand because the narration was in High german." ― George Carlin
"The universe is a million billion light-years broad, and every inch of information technology would impale you if you went at that place. This is the position of the universe with regards to homo life." ― Martin Amis
"-"He loved her...It was noble of him. Information technology was beautiful."
-"It was stupid." ― Lloyd Alexander, Westmark
"In response to be asked about Boris Johnson becoming UK Prime number Minister...
"I'm delighted. As the United kingdom continues to plunge ever faster into a future akin to a dystopian novel I'll never run out of material to write more books. Although at present that reality is more bizarre than fiction maybe plot-lines will need to exist more than ambitious. Perchance a book where Boris Johnson is actually an accidental sentient snafu of Trump'southward scrotum lint. Kind of a sequel to the Bush-Blair story. I see musical rights being drawn up as we speak." ― R.D. Ronald
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